Paper Covers Rock

I’ve had more jobs than you. In the past three years alone I have:

Worked in a warehouse that produced tax forms;

Worked as a chemical blender and got an allergic reaction to something that made my face swollen;

Packaged and shipped for a shoe company over the holidays;

Landscaped and sweated for a company across the border in Wisconsin;

Cut fruit and veggies for sale in a Mexican restaurant;

Picked up trash that was strewn around a recycling facility.

In laboring I’ve learned a few things, among them that I shouldn’t be exposed to Xylene if I want to keep living. I’m also pleasantly pleased that my forty-seven year old body can still produce like a person half my age. My steady diet of cheese, potato chips and hummus must have some undocumented health benefits.

I have also learned that I put myself first. No more coming in early, staying late, working holidays. There was a time, not too long ago, when I was the one trying to curry the recognition of management. For years of extra effort exerted, I got nothing: no employee of the month, no promotion. Of all the teams I’ve been a part of, I have never been a lead.

A year ago I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD, which has changed the way I view employment. Unemployment among autistics is depressingly high, upwards of 75 percent in some studies. That I have a job at all is stupendous. I also informed my current boss that I don’t work Mondays. I didn’t provide an explanation or apologize.

Last July I relapsed on meth. Upon reflection, it was when I was desperate, overwhelmed, amd looking for relief. Much of my substance use has been work-related: Adderall to perform better at a sales job; alcohol to ease social anxiety with coworkers.

That’s why I didn’t ask for Mondays off, I declared it. I know enough about myself that I require three days to recover, amd that extra day helps continue my sobriety.

Of all the jobs I’ve had, the bosses whose acclaim I solicited, where are they now? All the time, energy and stress, for squat.

For today, I put on my pants and get to work on time. A year from now, it will probably be a different place.