Paper Covers Rock

Eight months ago, I wandered into a tobacco shop in South Saint Paul to buy a new nicotine vape. I had recently started working at a Mexican restaurant my friend owned, in their kitchen prepping fruit for sale. This was during the ICE raids, and I was very conspicuous, the only gringo amongst my peers. On lunch, I sat in my car and ate alone, which made people nervous. They thought I was an ICE agent undercover.

I was always tense and uncomfortable, so when I saw a package of pills labeled 7oh, promising relaxation and peace, I bought it. Sure enough, I felt tranquil and talkative, more at ease around others. It was as though warmth and indifference coursed through me. I started buying 7oh daily, eventually spending five hundred dollars a week as my tolerance spiked.

Seriously, I have spent four thousand dollars in eight months on a legal product sold at every gas station in Minnesota. Enough money for a good used car. I also was tired of going into smoke shops every day. I was burned out on hiding them from my girlfriend. I felt embarrassed at having developed a dependency. But I can go easy on myself. I was only turning to something that made me feel better, and didn’t know how hard it would be to quit.

And Jesus tap-dancin’ Christ, it’s hard to quit. My nerve endings were on fire. My legs were so restless I couldn’t sleep, and I felt a desperate sense of doom. The physical withdrawals were tough, but the mental was atrocious. In desperation, I contacted my psych for suboxone. I had read numerous testimonials on Reddit of successful rehabilitation from 7oh using the sublingual film. Within two days of use, I tapered my 7oh use in half, and after two weeks, have quit entirely. I haven’t spent a dollar at a smoke shop in days, my sleep is better, and I’m truly at peace for the first time in months.

To anyone reading this whose situation may be relatable, a few things:

1. Go easy on yourself. Your use is not a character flaw. You are human, and deserve grace.
2. Help is available. I read people saying that Suboxone was overreacting to 7oh and kratom addiction, and advising grinding it out. Bullshit. The former and the latter are partial opioid agonists. Suboxone is perfectly suited to bring relief, balance and peace back to your life.
3. Real strength is asking for help. You absolutely got this.